


If you knew how lonely my life has been

by supercali



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, fake death au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-10-12
Packaged: 2020-10-12 00:47:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20555456
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supercali/pseuds/supercali
Summary: Robert died in an accident at the factory (shameless plot borrowing there) five years ago. Or so Aaron thought.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My ideal exit for Robert is that he fakes his death and then springs back up in a short while so then I had to write it. I wanted to avoid Vic's SL altogether so this goes AU just after Robert's birthday.

_Time’s a great healer._

_You’ll find someone else._

_It’s been five years._

_He wouldn’t want this._

Aaron was sick of cliches, whether they were well meaning or not. It felt like the whole village had an opinion on how he was handling his life, his grief. The only one who hadn’t was Cain, but even he looked at him different now. The only other time he could remember him not scowling at him was during the trial. He hated it then and he hated it now.

He wished they’d all just shut up and leave him in peace.

If he wanted to spend the rest of his life grieving for Robert like this then he would. He was managing, he got Seb up in time for school in the mornings, Liv was well fed when she came home at weekends. That was enough.

Why couldn’t they understand that you just don’t get over someone like Robert. He was everywhere, in Aaron’s thoughts every minute and he didn’t want that to change. This way he felt close to him.

He’d thrown Vic out of the house only a few weeks ago when she suggested that it was time to part with some of his stuff, that it would help. He should probably apologise but he didn’t want to. She wasn’t the only one to try but she’d caught him at the worst moment and even now he wasn’t sure what he’d been most angry at, her even asking, or her seemingly forgetting what the date was.

July 30th. 

They had so many significant dates but he always held onto this one the most apart from their wedding day. It felt like everything had finally come good, and nothing could stand in their way any more. They’d been truly happy that day in the lay-by and he’d laughed it off when Robert asked if they were jinxed.

Maybe he’d been right. Maybe they were. Look how it had ended up.

He hadn’t even been with him when it happened, off on a last minute job that Robert had insisted he take. They were supposed to be going out, some fancy restaurant that Robert wanted to try for the anniversary of their engagement. One of those where you get half a slice of steak and two cubes of potato or something. He knew Aaron hated places like that, wanted a proper plateful. He also knew if he turned those eyes on him he could pretty much get him to agree to anything. His arguments that people just didn’t celebrate second proposal anniversaries fell on deaf ears as they usually did with Robert.

He’d left after breakfast, promising he wouldn’t stand him up, no matter how poncy the restaurant was.

All he could think of that night, after everyone had left him alone, was that he hadn’t kissed him goodbye in his rush.

Cain had met him at the scrapyard, sat on the steps when he’d pulled the truck to a stop. He joked about Moira throwing him out, the words dying on his lips as Cain started to speak.

_“It’s Robert.”_


	2. Chapter 2

To this day he can’t tell you what he said or did when Cain told him. It’s like a fog, he knows what Cain said, he can remember the words like they were yesterday but after that there’s nothing, just feather like memories that he can’t grab hold of.

_“There was an accident, up at the factory. He didn’t stand a chance.”_

He remembers being at the pub, Cain must’ve taken him there, can remember his Mum fussing but that’s it. He didn’t feel anything except numbness. Even when it came to telling Liv he’d said the words, he’d held her as she’d cried but still nothing.

It would come later, the tears, the crushing feeling of loss would surround him and not leave for months. He’d probably feel ashamed of how he acted in those months, if he’d cared what anyone thought.

None of it mattered. Why would it without Robert? No one understood how he felt about him, how it felt to not have him there every night, to lie next to him in bed, making him feel safe. How it felt to wake up next to him, watching him sleep. They had no idea, expected him to just bounce back after their pre-prescribed mourning period.

He couldn’t do that because that would mean letting Robert go and he would never be ready to do that. No one had any idea what the two of them had.

He’s promised his Mum he’d go for lunch in the pub, she’d been asking for what felt like weeks and he’d run out of excuses. He locks the scrapyard, staring around as he leaves, the place full of memories. They’re more comforting than he’d ever thought they might be.

The village has moved on, hardly anyone mentions him any more, they’ve stopped looking at Aaron with that sad eyed stare. Now they just act like everything is normal. He doesn’t know which is worse.

There’s a police car out the front of the pub as he walks up. Once upon a time he’d had a flicker of hope any time he saw them in the village, the possibility that there’d been a mistake and it hadn’t been Robert in the building. It never was, and now he didn’t even look twice.

The pub is full of noise, clearly something has gone on. Pearl is at the window peering out, Eric is by the bar watching her, the rest of the punters pretending they’re not interested but he knows they’re tuned into every word.

“Charity, is Mum in the back?” He gets no more than a nod and he makes his way through the back. He’s not in the mood for another round of his Mum’s attempts at getting him to move on. Hopefully she’s preoccupied by whatever is going on.

“Mum?”

“Hiya love. Sit down, lunch is nearly ready.”

“I’m really not hungry.”

“Tough, you’ll eat it. You’re not taking care of yourself.”

“I’m fine! I don’t need you naggin’ me.”

“I’m your mother. Love, it’s been five years…more than that now. Do you think he’d want this?”

“Well he’s not here is he? He left me so he doesn’t get a say!” He pushes the plate away, crashing it into the bottle of beer she’d placed beside it, tipping it over. The beer dripping it’s way off the table onto the floor catches his eye. Robert’s favourite. “I…” 

He has to get out, brushes away her arm and ignores her concerned gaze as he gets up. He can hear her calling out as he rushes out the back door, collapsing back against the rough brick of the pub, barely able to drag in enough air to his lungs.

“Aaron! Oh love. Come on, deep breaths hmm? With me yeah?” He can feel himself calming down, it’s easier to breathe and he can focus on her looking at him with concern. “There. Better?” He nods, but he isn’t really. “Come back inside, just for a bit.”

“No, I’m just going to go home.” 

He’s surprised she lets him go but he’s not going to question it. The police car is still there when he gets round the front and now there’s a huddle of people round it.

“Jimmy! What’s goin’ on?”

“Al, been arrested by the looks of it. Don’t know what for though. Nico’ll be sorry she missed this.” He looks over, sees Ellis’s Dad being led away. He’s never had much to do with him. He’d seen him up at the yard a couple of times but he’d never spoken to him. Wasn’t much better than Joe Tate, lording it over everyone, trying to interfere in their businesses. Not any longer by the looks of it.

He locks eyes with him as they put him into the police car and he shivers. He has no idea why, he hardly knows him, but the way he looked at him made him want to get as far away as he could.

“Aren’t you stopping?” Jimmy asks as he walks away.

“None of my business is it?”

The fuss dies down, another bit of gossip gets talked about soon enough but everything just carries on the same for him, day after day.

He trudges home from the scrapyard a week later, another night in front of the TV to look forward to. He knew he should maybe go out, try and enjoy himself but even the thought of it made him feel like he was betraying Robert. His Mum had been right the other day, Robert wouldn’t want this for him. He’d even told him as much, one night not long after they got back together. They’d been discussing Alex, and he’d told him it hadn’t felt right, moving on. Robert had made him promise that if anything happened then he’d allow himself to have a life. It wasn’t that easy though, not in reality.

He’s barely on the doorstep when he hears running footsteps behind him, turning to see Seb flying towards him, Moira further up the road carrying his backpack and coat.

“Daddy, I got to go on the tractor!” His eyes are wide with excitement and it’s enough to make him smile. He ruffles his hair before nodding at Moira.

“Did you say thank you?” Seb nods and then he lets himself inside the house. “Thanks for picking him up Moira.”

“It’s no trouble, I was there for Isaac. You know if you ever need a babysitter, if you want a night out…”

“Did my Mum put you up to this?” Her silence tells him everything. “I’m happy as I am.”

“When I lost John it took…” He snorts a laugh.

“Weren’t you having it off with Cain? Don’t you dare try and compare that to me and Robert. Like I say, thanks for lookin’ after Seb but I don’t need advice from anyone, least of all you.”

The door slamming behind him is strangely satisfying. Safe in his own space, no one to bother him, only Seb to worry about and he was never any trouble. He was the only person who could get a smile out of him these days.

“So, how was school?” He asks, trying to get Seb’s attention from the TV. “Fine, don’t tell me. I won’t tell you about the new film I saw advertised today.”

“What film? Can we go? Tomorrow!”

“The one with those robots you like. Not tomorrow though, I’ve got to help Uncle Cain out at the garage tomorrow. How about Sunday, just you and me?” He gets a happy nod before Seb’s gaze goes back to the television. 

The evening isn’t so bad, listening to Seb’s chatter about school, the night time routine distracting him well enough. It’s later when he’s alone, Seb sleeping after two stories, one that just had to be about Daddy Robert, that the memories come back. 

He should be over this, it’s been years, he should be able to think of him without feeling this kind of despair. Every time he thinks he’s starting to accept it something will send him right back to square one. The last time was at Seb’s parents evening. A new teacher who either hadn’t listened or hadn’t been told the situation had innocently mentioned him being there alone. It had taken everything not to snap at her and walk out.

The next morning is a rush, even though he slept badly he still managed to be late up, and Seb’s dragging his feet over going to the pub for the morning even though Aaron knows he loves playing with Luke even if he claims he’s boring being nearly a whole two years younger.

He brushes off his Mum’s attempts at conversation, saying he’s late and focuses on the garage. He doesn’t mind the extra work, or the extra money but he should get paid extra for listening to Dan sing along to the radio.

“Here, stop your sighing and take this callout.” Cain thrusts a piece of paper in his hand when it’s nearly time to finish.

“I’m picking Seb up.”

“Well tough. Not like your Mum’s gonna stick him out on the doorstep is it.” He can’t help rolling his eyes at his uncle, but he grabs the keys to the truck, claiming he owes him.

He doesn’t really take notice of where he’s going, Cain had just said Hotten Road, but eventually he sees a car sat by the side of the road so he brings the truck to a stop. Exactly where he is registers the exact moment he realises who is stepping out of the car.


	3. Chapter 3

He’s dreaming, he has to be, because that’s Robert in front of him, and he’s dead. He can’t do anything but stand there staring at him. He looks just the same, hair styled a little differently and maybe a few grey hairs appearing, but still his Robert.

He’s going mad, that’s what this is.

He takes a step back as Robert steps towards him, and his face changes, concern written all over it.

“Aaron?” He’s close enough to touch now and when he reaches out a hand, Aaron recoils like he’s been bitten.

“No!” He fumbles with the door to the truck, hauling himself inside and starting the engine, driving off before Robert could do anything.

It was a dream, and any minute now he was going to wake up. 

He’s not though, and he doesn’t know what he’s feeling, keeps driving, putting the miles between him and the lay-by, and Robert. 

Cain’s the only one in the garage when he gets back and slams the keys on the desk. “I’m going home.”

“What’s got you in such a…oh.” Cain’s face changes and when Aaron turns round there’s Robert again, standing at the top of the garage forecourt. When his brain catches up he realises that Cain’s not the the least bit surprised to see him, or that he’d clearly been set up.

“You knew.” He swings round to face him, dimly hears footsteps behind him but he doesn’t stop, has his hands bunched in Cain’s overalls, shoving him against the wall before he can stop himself. “You knew! You…”

“Aaron, stop. Let me explain.” Robert. That soft voice of his, the one he’s only heard in the few videos he has and his dreams, and now it’s in his ear, so close he can feel his breath.

“Get lost Robert. Go back to wherever it is you’ve been for the past five years.” He shrugs off the hand on his shoulder and stares at Cain. “You let me think he’d died, you…you let me cry on your shoulder because I missed him, and you knew all along that he was alive?”

“If you’d just listen…”

“You know how bad things got.” He can barely get his breath he’s so angry, forces himself to pull away, fists clenched at his sides. “You know what I went through and you didn’t think to tell me?”

“I couldn’t.”

“When did you find out?” The words come out through gritted teeth, it’s taking everything he has not to punch something, or someone.

“What?”

“That he was alive?” He doesn’t even glance in Robert’s direction, too unsure of what he’ll do.

“Does it matter?” Cain’s avoiding his gaze and finally it dawns on him.

“You knew all along, didn’t you? God, I’m so stupid. Who else knows? My Mum? Paddy?”

“Aaron, no one else knew, I swear. If you’d just take a minute and listen.” Robert again, hand on his shoulder again which once upon a time would’ve made him stop and think. Things were different now.

“Oh, I’m sorry, am I not following the correct etiquette for finding out my dead husband is in fact alive? I’ll check the handbook when I get home.”

“Oh I’ve missed that sarcasm.” Robert mutters, just loud enough for him to hear. “Look, will you give me a chance to explain? Then you can tell me to get lost and I’ll go.” He can’t look at him but he nods, glares once more at Cain before stalking in the direction of the pub. 

“Where are you going? I thought we were going to talk.”

“We will. Not now. I waited five years for you, you can wait for me to be calm enough to listen. Right now I’m going to pick up Seb and go home.”

“Oh. Can I…?” He hesitates, because he’s not that cruel, but in the end anger wins.

“No. You can’t just turn up in his life like this Robert.”

“I need to see him Aaron. He’s my son.”

“Yeah, and he’s grown up thinking you’re dead. Maybe you should’ve thought about that before you did a disappearing act?” He stops walking and sighs. “Let me…I was going to say explain but I don’t even know where to start. Just…give us time. I have to go.”

“Aaron…you have no idea how sorry I am.” He shakes his head because it doesn’t help. It doesn’t help a single bit.

*****

“Whiskey Charity. Make it a double.” The pub is almost empty when he barges his way in, snapping at Charity enough to make her eyes widen. 

“Chas!” He’s downed the drink by the time his Mum comes through from the back.

“Can’t you manage for five minutes on your own? I’m trying to juggle two boys out there, and Marlon having a…” She trails off as Charity nods her head in his direction. He rolls his eyes because she’s never been one for subtlety. “Aaron! I thought you’d be tied up a bit longer.”

“He might be if he keeps knocking ‘em back like that.”

“Did something happen? I thought you were on a callout?” He snorts. “Come through to the back.”

“Did you know?” He stares at her, looking for any tell tale sign she might be lying but he can’t find any.

“Know what? I don’t know what you’re talking about love.” She’s got her arm round him now, encouraging him into the back room. “Seb and Luke are outside, it’s fine. What’s gone on?”

“Robert.” He almost falls down onto the sofa in a heap. He’s exhausted and part of him wants nothing more than to rewind to that morning and just not get up. 

All those times he’d thought about this moment, finding out Robert was alive, especially in those early days when he couldn’t, or wouldn’t believe that he was gone. He’d be ecstatic and he’d hold onto him and never let him go. Instead he’s feeling deceived, and angry. There’s no room for anything else.

“Aaron you can’t keep doing this to yourself. Robert’s dead.” He can’t help it, he starts laughing and the look on her face only makes it worse. “Aaron! Do I need to call the doctor to you?”

“Sorry…it’s just…he’s not. Dead that is.” Under different circumstances he’d perhaps be proud that he’d seemingly shocked her into silence. “In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if he wasn’t still out front.”

“I’m calling Paddy.”

“Mum, I’m not losing it. I just saw him. Ask Cain if you don’t believe me. Seems like he’s known all along.” He’s not sure why he’s suddenly so calm. Exhaustion probably. He feels like he’s been awake for weeks and anything other than indifference will take too much energy.

“I don’t understand.”

“Join the club. But the long and short of it is, Robert’s alive and my uncle has been lying to me for the past five years.”


	4. Chapter 4

He hadn’t stayed long after that, told her what he knew and collected Seb, leaving her on the phone to Cain. All he had the energy for was to go home and play video games with Seb until bedtime.

Maybe he should’ve told him about Robert but he had no idea where to start. He’d always been honest with him about his Daddy Robert and now he had to undo all of that somehow. It didn’t help that he had no idea how to deal with it himself, let alone how to help a seven year old who still said goodnight to the photo of his Dad beside his bed.

He doesn’t sleep, spends most of the night pacing the kitchen, can’t settle his mind on anything. He’ll have to see Robert, he knows that, but right now he’s not sure he wants to. Not so long ago he would’ve given anything for it but all he can think of now is how he’s been lied to, how hurt he is.

When the banging starts on the door not long after seven he can only sigh. He should’ve known Robert wouldn’t wait.

“What part of give me time don’t you understand?”

“I have to explain. I know you’re angry, but if you hear me out…well, maybe you’ll see I had no choice.”

“There’s always a choice.” He sighs because even now he can’t say no to him. “Seb’s still asleep and I haven’t had chance to talk to him yet. Meet me at the yard in an hour. I’ll get Mum to watch him.”

“I know you said yesterday but…I need to see him too Aaron.” For the first time he can almost see a hint of how much Robert is hurting too.

“We’re going out later, I’ll talk to him after, then if he wants to we’ll arrange something. It’s got to be at his pace Robert.” He can hear Seb moving about upstairs, never one for sleeping late. “You should go.”

“Who was that?” Seb’s on the stairs when he closes the door, hair ruffled from sleep, pyjamas dragging a little on the floor because Nana Chas had bought a size too big again.

“Come and sit with me a minute.” He smiles as Seb climbs up onto his lap, for once not protesting that he’s too old for cuddles. “You know how I’ve told you about your Dad?”

“He died, like Mummy. But I’ve got you!”

“Of course you have. Well…thing is…this probably won’t make much sense bug, but your Dad, he’s alive.” Seb doesn’t say anything, doesn’t even acknowledge he’s heard. Aaron’s never felt so out of his depth before. He has no idea how to do this and it’s not the kind of thing you can look up on the internet like he had in the past when Seb first came back to live with him. “Seb…”

“Do I have to go live with him now?”

“Oh. Um…your Dad and I would have to talk about that, but no one’s going to make you do anything you don’t want, ok?” He’s a bit ashamed that he’d not even thought about Robert wanting Seb back. He didn’t want to think about it.

Seb had been the reason for him to turn himself around and try to get his life back to some sort of normality. He’d known that Robert and Rebecca had sorted out the legal stuff back after the wedding, Robert adamant that Aaron have rights over the little boy in case anything happened. Maybe now he knew why.

“Why did he go away?”

“I don’t know bug, but I’m going to find out. Are you ok to go to Nana’s while I do that?” He holds him close a little bit longer, wondering if Seb really was that ok with everything or if he was going to react more later. “If you want me to stay here instead, I will.”

“You said we were going out!”

“We still can…are you sure?”

“Yeah!"

“Right then. The film doesn’t start until two. I’m not going to miss that am I, hmm? Come on, let’s get dressed and get your stuff.” Seb’s halfway up the stairs before he stops. “What is it?”

“Can I see him?”

“Yeah, of course you can. We need to talk first though.” He forces a smile. “Seb…you know it’s alright if you’re upset or whatever, yeah? You can talk to me.”

“I know. Love you Dad.”

“Love you too bug.”

Robert’s sat on the bonnet of his car when he gets to the scrapyard. He’d feel bad about making him sit outside but he’s still angry. He doesn’t say a word, just unlocks the door, sitting at his desk looking at Robert.

“Well go on then.”

“Aaron…”

“No. You don’t get to use that voice on me. I’m so mad at you. I can’t even find the words.”

“I know, and if I could change it.” He sighs and slumps onto Jimmy’s desk. “This place hasn’t changed much.”

“It’s a portacabin Robert, what were you expecting?”

“I s’pose I thought you might be a little bit pleased to see me.” He doesn’t answer, just watches as Robert runs a hand over his face, noticing his wedding ring for the first time. He can’t deny a little fizz of something at the sight of it and runs his thumb over his own. “I had to leave, I didn’t have a choice.”

“You said that before, but there’s always a choice. You could’ve told me, left a note, anything. Instead you just…I thought you _died_ Robert. Did you think I’d just get over that?”

“No…but you had Chas, and Liv, and everyone. I knew you’d be alright.”

“I wasn’t though. You just don’t get it do you? I needed _you_! I needed you and you weren’t there. So I don’t want to hear how you thought I’d be ok. All I want is an explanation.”

“I was being threatened. More to the point you were being threatened. Liv, Seb, everyone. It was the only way out.”

“But…we were happy. I would’ve noticed.”

“I’m good at hiding stuff.” He scoffed a little because that couldn’t be further from the truth. “Ok maybe not, but…like you said we were happy, and I was doing everything I could to keep it that way.”

“Hang on, go back a bit. Who was threatening you? Kim Tate? Lachlan?”

“No. I wouldn’t have done this because of them. I need to…this goes back to before I met you.” He wanders over to the window and Aaron waits him out, knows that’s the best way to get him to talk. “Before I started working for Lawrence even. I’d got myself into debt, and I don’t just mean a few hundred. Thousands. Every time I managed to claw something back from a deal I lost it again. Anyway, you know me, I can blag my way into anything. Found a job, the boss offered to help me get out of debt if I…well let’s just say not much of it was entirely legal. You have to…I’d been on my own since Dad made me leave and those first couple of years were hard Aaron, I would’ve done anything not to end up back there.”

He nods because Robert’s told him about that time before, even reducing himself to tears over it. “So, you were in trouble with the police or…”

“Did I ever tell you how I met Chrissie? I think most people assume I set out to seduce the boss’s daughter, but I didn’t. I met her in a bar one night when I’d just done another one of his jobs. She was nice. Anyway, sorry…I never told her about him, but she thought I was unhappy at work, suggested she talk to her Dad for me. I snapped her hand off. It was a way out of the mess I was in.”

“And he didn’t like you leaving…seems a bit of an extreme reaction?”

“Yeah well you know me, I couldn’t just leave, could I? He’d trusted me a fair bit, I knew a lot of his secrets. So when I got the job with Lawrence, I took what I had and gave it to the police. He got to stay at Her Majesty’s pleasure for a few years.”

“And he took exception to that and when he got out…”

“He came looking for me. He wasn’t going to let it go, I should’ve known that. It’d been that long I thought…well anyway.” He sits again, looks worn out. “So, now you know.”

“Is that it?”

“What else is there?”

“How did he find you? Who is he? And the one I keep coming back to, why didn’t you tell me! Why you thought it was ok to keep all of it from me and let me think you were dead!”


	5. Chapter 5

“Why does it matter who he is?” Robert said after minutes of silence. “It’s all over now, he’s out of the picture.”

“You thought that before. The last time you didn’t want to tell me something like this, it was Andy.” 

“That was different. How will it help you to know? I’m the one you’re mad at.” He shakes his head, how can Robert think he won’t want to know every detail.

“Well you’re right about that. I still deserve to know. And hurry up, I’m taking Seb out later.” He knew that was a low blow but he couldn’t help it.

“We need to talk about him.”

“Yeah. When I know everything.”

“That’s not fair.”

“I just found out you’re alive after thinking you were dead for five years. I think I’ve got a right to my own way don’t you?” He sighs, because maybe he’s being too harsh about Seb. “Look, maybe when we get back this afternoon you could come over, if he agrees. But I’m serious Robert. I want to know everything. How are you so sure it’s all sorted? How do you know that whoever it is isn’t still going to come after me, or Seb?”

“They won’t.”

“I don’t know that. Explain it all to me and then we’ll talk about Seb.” He stares him down, winning in the end when Robert slumps a little on the desk. “Because I don’t know that he’s safe, do I?”

“You think I’d come back if there was a chance of you or him being in danger? Fine. I really did think it was over but then he turned up. I would’ve told you but, we were still dealing with Seb going to Rebecca, and Grace…you had enough to deal with. It was Christmas…and I suppose I chickened out.” Aaron frowns, throwing his mind back.

“Wait…he showed up at Christmas? But…there was only…_Billy_?”

“No. He wasn’t alone, remember? Al showed up too.” He nods but he’s speechless. “You were dealing with everything to do with Billy.”

“Al…he’s behind this? But…” He’d not had much to do with the man over the years but he’dalways seemed just your usual kind of arrogant businessman, nothing more than that. Then he remembered the look he’d given him earlier in the week.

“I thought at first maybe he was just here for Ellis, but then he turned up at ours, said some stuff about you, about Liv and I knew.”

“You still should’ve told me! We said we’d be honest with each other back then!”

“I know. Just think about it, if I’d come to you and told you, told you he’d threatened Liv. What would you’ve done Aaron? Honestly?” He can’t look him in the eye because he knows he’s right. “You would’ve ended up back inside and there was no way I was letting that happen. At first I thought I could deal with it, get him to back off, but he was just there all the time.”

“He threatened Liv?”

“Yeah. You, her, Seb once he found out about him. Pretty much everyone. I didn’t know what to do, how to stop him. I just couldn’t let him hurt you, any of you.” He gets it, feeling helpless like that, but the thought of Robert going through that alone was horrible. “Cain saw us here one day, and you know Cain, never takes no for an answer…he got it all out of me.”

“So, you and him arranged all this?”

“In a way. He was all for taking Al on, but I know him. He seems nice but underneath…anyway I went to the police, it was all on record from before. They couldn’t lock him up, there wasn’t any evidence, or no new evidence and he’d been done for everything from before.” He shoves his hands in his pockets as if he’d just finished telling him about his day. “The police helped to sort everything and then…”

“As simple as that eh?”

“No Aaron. Nothing about this was simple. If he’d just threatened me I would’ve stayed, but the thought of him going after you…I couldn’t risk it.”

“So you just left us all in the village with him?”

“Once I was gone he had no reason to go after you. I did what I thought was best, and I would do it again. You know I’d do anything for you to be safe.”

“Do you have any idea how much it hurt?” He hates how his voice wobbles and he stares at the floor, can’t face him.

“Yeah. I’ve been without you too, haven’t I?” He gets up, moves closer to Aaron, stopping before he reaches him as if he knows touching him wouldn’t be a good idea. “I can’t undo any of it but at least you know why now.”

“And you think you can just come back and pick up where you left off?”

“No. I’m not that stupid. I don’t expect you to forgive me, but…if I can, I want to get to know Seb.” He can’t deny the way his heart dropped a little at the thought of Robert no longer wanting him. He didn’t know how he felt right now, the anger outweighing everything else.

“Did you know? About what happened to Rebecca? Did they tell you?” Robert nods. “If I hadn’t, if someone had contested me having him…would you have come back?”

“Aaron…”

“No. I want to know.”

“I knew you’d look after him, there was no reason you wouldn’t get custody of him.”

“Well that’s alright then.” He can’t stay in the cabin any longer, storms down the steps leaving Robert behind. “You know, you told me when you let him go with her that he didn’t deserve to grow up without a mother, that you knew what that was like.”

“I explained…”

“But you just let him grow up without his Dad?”

“He had you! I knew he’d be ok. More than ok!”

“He needed you! He needed you here, not in a picture by the side of the bed. Did you know he says goodnight to it every night? Did you know that on his first day at school he tripped and cut his elbow open? That when he lost his first tooth he made me send a text to the tooth fairy to remind them? He needed you here for that Robert, not God knows where!”

“Don’t.”

“Why? Does the truth hurt? You’re his _Dad_ Robert and you just left him. You know how much it hurts to lose a parent and you let him go through that.”

“To protect him!”

“He won't understand that. I barely understand it. We could’ve sorted this together. Moved away…anything, but you…you left Robert. You just left us.” Robert steps forward again. “No. I can’t be near you right now.”


	6. Chapter 6

He stalks through the village, people wisely keeping their distance. He lets himself into the back door of the pub, smiling despite himself at the sight in front of him. Seb sat at the table, jam round his mouth and all over his fingers, half eaten piece of toast on his plate. 

“Enjoying that bug?”

“Nana makes good toast. Did you speak to Daddy Robert?” He flicks his gaze to his Mum, listening from the kitchen. “Can I see him?”

“Er, yeah. We can talk about that, but first you need to go upstairs and wash your hands, not to mention your face.” He watches him go, not for the first time wondering just how Robert could’ve missed this.

“Well?” His Mum asks when Seb’s out of earshot. 

“Well what?” He sits and nabs the last piece of toast for something to do. “He was being threatened, more to the point we all were.” He tells her everything, keeping an eye out for Seb coming back. 

“So what now?”

“He says he wants to get to know Seb.”

“And you?” He shrugs. 

“He said he didn’t expect me to forgive him. Nothing else. Maybe he’s found someone else.” She smothers a smile. “What?”

“Love, this is Robert. Do you really think he’s not hoping the two of you will get back together?”

“You don’t know that. Didn’t look that way to me. You ready to go bug?” He smiles at Seb as he runs back in.

“We’re going to the cinema Nana!”

“I know love.” She grabs her purse from the side, handing him some money. “Here you go, for some popcorn.

“You spoil him.”

“It’s my job. Have fun. Aaron, it will be alright, in the end.”

Seb holds onto his hand all the way home, chattering away about Luke going off with Paddy on an emergency call. He stops at the top of their drive, hiding behind Aaron’s legs as he sees Robert at the door.

“Seb?” He crouches in front of him, glancing behind, hoping Robert is staying where he is. “What’s the matter?”

“Is that really Daddy Robert? From my picture?”

“Yeah. Do you want to see him?” Seb didn’t answer, just peered around him to look at Robert. He was a little annoyed that he’d just shown up again but he knew him well enough to know he wouldn’t leave it alone. “You don’t have to. Not if you don’t want to.”

“What if…will he like me?”

“Of course he will. He told me that he had missed you lots and lots. Besides, you’re brilliant, why wouldn’t he like you? Why don’t we just say hello, hmm?” Seb gave him a nervy nod of the head but didn’t move. “Come on then.”

Seb was clinging onto his hand tight and he wasn’t sure if he was doing the right thing at all but he reasoned that they had to meet some time. Robert was smiling as he crouched when Seb stood in front of him.

“Hi. I like your jacket.”

“Nana bought it for me but it was too big so I had to wait to wear it. Nana always buys things too big.”

Robert laughed a little, glancing up at Aaron. “I remember.”

“Daddy, can I go in now?” Aaron nods, handing him the key, trying to ignore the look of disappointment on Robert’s face.

“He doesn’t want to know me does he?” He asks, straightening up.

“Back at the pub he asked if he could see you, so he does. He’s still taking everything in, that’s all.” He sighs. “What are you doing here Robert? I told you to stay away.”

“I brought your keys back. Was going to shove them through the letterbox then I heard the two of you.” He looks at the door a little wistfully. “He’s got so big.”

“They do that, so I’ve heard. I’ll talk to him some more, just don’t push him. He’s stubborn. Don’t know where he got that from.” As he finishes talking the door bursts open again and Seb flies out, stopping in front of Robert. 

“Do you like robots? We’re going to the cinema. Would you like to come?” Robert looks a little stunned, looking at Aaron as if for permission. He nods, unsure about spending so much time with him when so much is up in the air, but if Seb wants it then he’ll deal with it.

“I…I don’t really know much about them.” Seb pouts and Aaron wants to laugh at the look on his face.

“I can tell you all about them. Can’t I daddy?”

“In exhaustive detail. It’s up to you. I was going to take him for a burger first…or if you want you could meet us there.” 

“Are you alright with that?”

“It’s what Seb wants.” He ruffles the little boy’s hair lightly. “Go play for a bit bug, I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Now he’s not listening?”

“Like I said, it’s what he wants. I’m still angry Robert. I get why you did it, but that doesn’t mean I don’t get to be angry.” It was so confusing having Robert here, part of him wanted to grab him and never let go, the other part was too afraid of being hurt again to let his anger go. “Where are you staying?”

“I’ve been in Hotten. Was thinking of maybe the B&B but that would mean seeing Diane and Vic. Not sure I’m ready for that yet.”

“Well, now Seb knows everyone will so you might want to at least tell them you’re alive. That kid could chat for England and Diane’s picking him up from school tomorrow. We’re leaving at about half eleven so why not go now. Perfect excuse to get away if you need to then.”

“Always looking out for me eh?”

“When you let me.” He stuffs his hands in his pockets, looking along the drive before looking back at him. “I should get in…get him ready.”

“Yeah. I’ll…meet you here or…”

“May as well. No point taking two cars. Save the planet and all that.”

“Right. Well, wish me luck. Just how mad do you think they’ll be?”

“Very, especially Vic, but they love you.”

“What about you?” He has to look away at his gaze, it’s too much. He’s still not sure what Robert wants.

“Go see your sister Robert.”

*****

He’s back on the doorstep dead on half past but he doesn’t get chance to ask how it went before Seb is grabbing Robert’s hand and bending his ear about the film as they get into the car.

“You weren’t kidding.” He whispers when they reach the bypass. “He really can chatter for England.”

“You get used to it.”

“It’s nice. I missed so much. What if…”

“Seb’s fairly easy going, once he knows you’re here for good he’ll settle down. He talks a lot when he’s nervous or he doesn’t know you.” He pauses glancing into the back of the car at the little boy, who’s switched to talking to his favourite teddy. “Are you back for good?”

“I didn’t make any firm plans. Wasn’t exactly sure of the reception you know.”

“Daddy Robert? Are you having a burger too? I’m having chicken nuggets. I always have them, don’t I Daddy?”

“I’m surprised you don’t look like a nugget!” He frowns when Robert doesn’t answer. “He’s joking. We don’t come here much, I don’t fill him up on junk food or ‘owt.”

“Aaron, you don’t have to prove anything to me. I can see how happy he is.” He smiles as he twists to look at Seb. “Burger or chicken nuggets? That’s some choice. Maybe if I have the burger, you’ll let me try one of your nuggets?”

“No! They’re all mine!” Seb goes off into a fit of giggles making them all smile.

They don’t say much else until they’ve eaten, Seb taking up most of the conversation telling Robert everything about his school and favourite tv and games. Aaron takes the time to watch them together, sitting beside each other. It’s everything he’s wished for and yet he feels out of sorts. He still has no idea what Robert wants aside from seeing Seb. Does he want them to give it another go, and if he does, he doesn’t know how he feels about it. They need to talk, he’s just not sure if he’s ready for the answers.


	7. Chapter 7

Seb runs off to the play area as soon as he’s finished eating. Robert still has a smile on his face from Seb handing him one of his nuggets to try, telling him he was only allowed a bite.

“He’s amazing.”

“He has his moments.” He checked his watch, they had plenty of time, there’d be no end of trailers to sit through anyway. “How did it go with Vic and Diane? Didn’t get to ask with him bending your ear non stop.”

He shrugged, staring out of the window. “Diane just got that look, you know the one. Vic shouted, a lot. Got a slap for my trouble. S’pose I should’ve expected that.”

“You can’t really blame them, it’s a hell of a shock. Did you tell them everything?” He shook his head. “Robert…”

“I will. By the time Vic had stopped shouting it was…I didn’t want to miss coming here with you…and Seb. I said I’d go for lunch tomorrow.” He looked over to the play area again. “Could I…would it be alright if I picked him up from school one afternoon? Tomorrow maybe?”

“Oh. Uh yeah I guess so.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He picks up his drink to save having to say anything else.

“Aaron, come on.”

“What are your plans? About Seb.”

“I don’t…I’ve not come back to take him off you Aaron. I wouldn’t. I want to get to know him, but he’s yours too. I’d never change that.”

“Ok.” It’s eased something in his chest but he’s cursing himself at the same time because he still has no idea what Robert wants from him. Does he want to try again, has there been someone else? Does he even want that. “We should get going. He takes ages to find the seat he wants.”

Robert catches his arm as he gets up to fetch Seb. “Thank you. You could’ve told me to get lost, and meant it. I wouldn’t have blamed you.”

“Yeah well, he’s happy, that’s the most important thing. Come on.”

*****

They have fun at the cinema, Seb in his element explaining every little detail to Robert in that sweet too loud whisper of his. Thankfully there weren’t many others in the room to complain. He’d spent most of the film watching the two of them, Robert with his head bent down to Seb so much he must have a crick in his neck. 

He just wished he didn’t feel so confused. He loves Robert, he never stopped but he supposes that somewhere in the five years he’d started to put it all away, an attempt to move on as best he could. Now Robert was back everything was tumbling out of the box and he didn’t know what to do or how to feel. Five years was a long time, could they even get back to what they were even if they wanted to?

Seb insists on Robert coming in when they get home and the next thing Aaron knows the two of them are out in the back garden kicking a football about. He doesn’t join them, letting them have some time together but he watches from the window. It all feels so normal, like Robert had never been away.

Aaron was folding the washing, when Seb burst in the door a while later, face flushed with excitement as he stood right in front of him looking up, eyes wide. Aaron knew that look, he wanted something.

“Can Daddy Robert read my story tonight?”

“I expect so. Did you ask him?” He sets down the school sweater he’s holding. 

“Yeah. He said I had to ask you. So can he?”

“If you get ready for bed now then yes. Where is he?”

“Outside.” Seb shrugged and made for the stairs. Aaron frowned, reminded him not to start running the bath before heading outside. Robert’s stood at the bottom of the steps staring up at the sky.

“I hear I’ve been replaced.” Robert swung round to look at him. “Seb.”

“I didn’t…that’s not what I…”

“It’s fine. I know how persuasive he is. Like someone else I know.” He walks down the rest of the steps. “Anything interesting up there?”

“You know people always say you don’t appreciate what you’ve got until it’s gone? I didn’t realise just how much I missed this place until I came back.” Aaron didn’t know what to say. He’d been concentrating so much on how he was feeling about him being back he’d not stopped to consider what it must’ve been like for Robert, cut off from everyone like that. “He’s upstairs?”

“Mmm, waiting for a bath and that. I can do it if you want a bit more time.”

“No, I’d like to. I’ve got so much time to make up.” He starts up the steps but stops. “You’ll tell me if I’m…if it’s too much, won’t you?”

“He’s your son Robert, I’m not going to stop you seeing him, unless he asks me to. Go on, or he’ll likely flood the bathroom again.”

“What?”

“Yeah. A few months back, in our…I mean my bathroom too. Sarah was babysitting and I came home to a right mess. He knows not to leave the taps running in the sink now.”

“I bet. You know, everything he’s been through, Rebecca, me…he’s just…he’s perfect Aaron, and that’s down to you.” He stares at him, until Aaron has to look away and then he’s gone.

*****

He doesn’t mean to listen, really he doesn’t. He’s taking his clothes up to put away and he hears Seb’s giggles from his bedroom. He can’t help but smile. When he comes back out it’s quiet and he stops, leaning against the wall.

“Where did you go? When you weren’t here?”

“A way away. In you hop then.”

“Did you go to Africa? Did you see the lions?” Aaron chuckles quietly. Before Seb’s obsession with robots it had been lions.

“The lions? No mate, I didn’t go that far. Are you comfy?” He risks peeking round the door, sees Robert tucking the covers round Seb even as the little boy is sitting back up in bed, clearly having thought of another question.

“Yeah. So, why didn’t you come see me?” Aaron realises he’s holding his breath, waiting for Robert to answer. “Because Daddy told me that you was dead like Mummy but you aren’t so why didn’t you come and see me?”

“I…I wanted to, I really did but I just couldn’t mate. I knew you were safe though, because you had Daddy to look after you.”

“Daddy’s great. He lets me stay up late sometimes, but I missed you. Look, I have your picture.” Aaron peeks again to see Seb hand Robert the frame from beside his bed. He can also see that Robert doesn’t know what to say so he pushes the door open.

“Right mister, bed time or I’m going to have your teacher after me if you can’t stay awake in lessons.” Robert gets up without saying a word moving out of his way as he kisses Seb goodnight. “Night night bug.”

“Night Daddy. G’night Daddy Robert.”

“Night mate.” He quickly presses a kiss to his forehead and then he’s gone before Aaron can stop him. He switches off the light before heading down the stairs, finding the front door open and Robert nowhere to be seen.


	8. Chapter 8

By the time he’s knocked on the door to the other flat and asked Ellis to watch Seb, Robert’s nowhere outside. He realises that he has no idea where he’s staying or how to get hold of him. All he can do is search the village and hope that Robert hasn’t run.

All the usual places bring up nothing. He’s not in the graveyard, and he knows he won’t be in the pub. The only place left is Vic’s but the place is in darkness. It’s only by chance that he glances towards the village hall and sees the faint glow from a phone screen lighting up Robert’s face, sitting in the gazebo where they got married. 

“You alright?” He sits beside him, looking at his phone screen. It’s a photo from earlier, the three of them in the cinema, Seb perched on Robert’s lap grinning happily at the camera. “That’s a good photo.”

“Yeah.”

“You want to tell me what prompted your flit into the night then?”

“I…Seb’s this amazing, clever kid and it just hit me that I have absolutely nothing to do with that. You were right, I was so adamant about him having his Mum in his life and then I go and leave. If it hadn’t been for you he would’ve been who knows where.”

“Yeah, you did. You can’t undo it but when he’s older you can explain it properly to him so he knows that you didn’t just run out on him.” He doesn’t say anything just puts his phone away leaving them sitting in the darkness. “You didn’t really expect everyone to just say welcome home when you came back did you?”

“No, course not. When I left I suppose I tried not to think about it too much. My priority was keeping you all safe, I didn’t let myself think about you being alone or Seb growing up without me.” 

“And now you’re back?”

“Every thing has moved on without me. You know, when I found out he’d been arrested from the police, I…I thought about not coming back, that maybe it’d be easier to let things be, but I couldn’t. Selfish it might be but I had to see you, and Seb. I didn’t imagine it’d be this hard though.”

“What did you imagine? That I’d just be the same as always?”

“I don’t know. I messed up Aaron, I get it.”

“Stop feeling sorry for yourself Robert. It doesn’t suit you.” He sighs, and shivers a little. “Come back to the house, I told Ellis I’d only be ten minutes, he’s probably wondering where I am. We can talk more there.”

Once Ellis has gone, amusing Aaron no end at the look on his face when he sees Robert, he heads up to check on Seb, telling Robert to make some tea. When he gets back down Robert’s staring at the photo on his phone again.

“He’s happy.”

“Yeah. I used to picture it, you know. When we were apart…before. I always hoped that maybe one day we could be a family.”

“We were for a while. That’s something.”

“Maybe."

“Funny looking tea.” He says when he spies a bottle of wine on the table.

“I saw this and we might need it if we’re going to talk. You still drink wine?”

“Yeah. Someone converted me.” He sits at the opposite end of the sofa to Robert, curling his legs up onto the cushion. He has a feeling they might be there a while. It’s far too familiar and if he tried he could forget the past five years and believe that this is how it’s always been. “So, where have you been living?”

Robert looks surprised, like he hadn’t expected such a simple question. “Scotland. Edinburgh to be precise.” He shrugs. “It was nice enough, reminded me a bit of when I lived in London.”

“So not Africa then?”

“You heard that? I saw the Lion King on stage once. Do you think that would be enough for him?”

“Speaking as someone who has watched the DVD more times than is humanly acceptable I’d say it’s your best chance at getting him even more on side than he already is.” He gulps back a mouthful of wine, steeling himself for his next question. “So, in Edinburgh did you…was there…”

“No.” He nods once, ignoring how his heart beats that bit faster, at least it feels like it does. “I don’t have a right to ask.”

“No. You don’t. But, no there was no one.”

“How bad did it get? For you I mean.” Aaron can’t look at him. “You said, with Cain, that he knew how bad it got. What did you mean?”

“I don’t remember anything after he told me, not until they got me back to the pub. Mum told me later that I hit Cain and called him a liar. I couldn’t make sense of it, the factory, why you’d been there. Did you…was that all part of it? Them losing the factory?”

“No. I was just going to leave and have an accident on the motorway, but then I guess the fire happened and…I never knew the details, didn’t want to know. If I’d known I would’ve told them you’d question me being there. I’m not sure I ever have.”

“I did question it. Over and over, told them all they were wrong, the police, everyone.”

“What changed your mind?” Aaron didn’t answer him straight away, just putting his hand in his pocket and pulling something from it.

“This.”

“Oh.” He reached out and took the watch from him. The one that hadn’t left his wrist since Aaron had given it to them on their wedding day. 

“That was you, wasn’t it? You knew that if I questioned it, this would convince me?”

“Yeah. It was either that or my wedding ring and I wasn’t taking that off again.” He runs a finger over the inscription, and Aaron knows he’s thinking about that day when everything seemed like it was finally going right for them. “I’m so sorry Aaron. I thought I was protecting you and I just ended up hurting you even more didn’t I?”

“Yeah, you did. I’m not going to sugar coat it. Part of me wants to hate you for doing this, for turning my world upside down. I was so angry at you for leaving me and then I hated that I blamed you because you couldn’t help being dead could you, and now…” He trailed off because he was going to end up saying things he’d regret.

“Go on. I probably won’t feel any worse than I already do.”

“I should hate you. You left me and it might’ve been for good reason but I lost you…Seb lost you and I don’t know what to do with that.”

“Should.” Aaron frowns at him. “You said you should hate me…so, you don’t actually hate me?”

“Trust you to focus on that. No, I don’t hate you. I don’t think I ever could.” He can’t stop staring at him, taking him in and he can’t move as he moves closer, so close they could touch. 

“Tell me no and I’ll go.”


	9. Chapter 9

Aaron looked round briefly as he walked into the pub. He was early so he didn’t expect Robert to be there. He’d hoped his Mum would be off but he’s not in luck as she’s behind the bar, they didn’t need her staring at them all through lunch, especially after the night before.

Robert’s in the far corner booth, keeping himself to himself, and he can tell he’s trying to make himself unnoticed. He can also see the stares from everyone else in the pub. It’s hardly surprising but having experienced it himself he knows how it feels.

“See you’re giving them something to talk about.” He jokes as he sits across from him, pint already waiting.

“I try my best.” He won’t meet Aaron’s gaze.

“Robert…about last night.” He fiddles with the beer mat in front of him. It’s not really the best place to be having this discussion but Robert had legged it out the door so fast the night before he was taking any chance he got.

“It’s fine.”

“The least you can do is give me a chance to explain.”

“You were pretty clear.”

“I wasn’t though, was I? You heard no, and that was it, you were gone. You didn’t wait for me to explain.”

“Go on then.”

“You’re infuriating you know. You come back and…did you expect it all to just go back to normal? I said no because I can’t…not yet.”

“I thought…we had fun yesterday.”

“Yeah, we did. It was like it used to be, but I’m not the same person I was then, I doubt you are either. You’ve only been back a few days Robert, we can’t just ignore what’s happened. What if he gets off and comes back looking for you?”

“He won’t.”

“You don’t know that! How do I know there isn’t someone else out there, one of his associates or something who can turn up whenever?”

“Aaron…I can’t do any more. The police are getting them, they’ll be locked up. I’m not going anywhere.”

He doesn’t say anything for a while, staring at the table, trying to get his thoughts in order. 

“So…it wasn’t a no, no?” He looks up, startled. “Last night?”

“More, a not yet.” He can’t help but smile at him, fully aware his Mum is watching everything. “But like I said it’s only been two days. I’m still expecting to wake up and find out this is just a dream, or someone will come and take you from me, or worse.”

“So we take it slow? If that’s what you want? Wait until we know what’s happening or whatever?” He nods. “Can I still pick Seb up this afternoon?”

“Yeah, of course. He’s looking forward to it, and I’ve called the school. I thought…maybe I can cook tea for us all. That alright?”

“Yeah, sounds nice.” He looks over at Chas. “She doesn’t look too happy to see me.”

“You’re not scared of her, are you?”

“Terrified.” He’s laughing though and he pushes himself up to his feet. “Guess I should get it over with.”

He watches as Robert approaches the bar, surprised that he seems nervous. He’s always been able to match his Mum barb for barb before. He’s only noticing now just how much he’s changed in the five years he’s been away. Somehow softer, less arrogance coming through. It’s not a bad change, just not one he’d expected.

He’d lied to Robert, the night before, turning him down. He’d wanted him so much but something stopped him. The niggling doubt, the last embers of anger still there, so he’d done what he always did and pushed him away.

He was right though, it had only been two days and it wasn’t just him to consider, there was Seb to think about too. He’d taken everything so well, almost too well, and Aaron was expecting a reaction to hit at some point. They had to think of him first.

_“…he was in danger Chas!”_

He swivels his head round to Robert and his Mum whose scowl is in full force so he gets to his feet. Not that he thinks Robert needs rescuing but he knows what she’s like.

“Mum, leave him alone.” He orders as he leans on the bar.

“I’m just telling him what he did to you.”

“He knows.” She looks surprised at that. It wasn’t strictly true, he hadn’t gone into detail and unless Robert asked he wouldn’t. It was over and done with now. “So leave it.”

“She’s allowed to be angry with me.”

“I’m beginning to think you’ve been replaced by a pod person up there in Scotland. You’ve never been slow in pushing back on her before.”

“But this time she’s right.”

“Hmm. That’s between you and me though, isn’t it. Anyway you need to get going if you’re fetching Seb, and I need to go shopping. Be back by 5 yeah?” Robert nods, looks at Chas again and then he’s gone. “What?”

“He’s fetching Seb?”

“Yeah. He asked, so I switched Diane’s day. That alright?”

“You told the school?” He rolled his eyes at her.

“No I thought I’d let him pick him up and get arrested for kidnapping. Brighten up a Monday afternoon.”

“Alright there’s no need for sarcasm.”

“There is when you’re being like this.” He relents a little because he knows without her he’d never have managed when Seb came back into his life. “I know you’re looking out for me, but it’s fine. Seb idolises him already.”

“I’m more worried about you. What if Al gets off, hmm? Comes back after Robert again, and he does the same thing.”

“He won’t. I’m in a better place now than I was then, what with Billy turning up. Robert panicked and did what he thought was best. Like most of his plans it didn’t quite work.”

“Could still happen, and then what?”

“Then, me and Seb, we’ll go with him. Whatever it takes. I’m not losing him again.” She seems satisfied. As much as she ever is when it comes to him so he decides to get out while the going is good. “Anyway I’m off, said I’d cook.”

“Alright love. Just…be sure, that’s all I’m saying.” 

*****

“Daddy! Jenny has a new puppy and I got to stroke him first out of everyone! He licked my hand and everything. Can we get a puppy? A spotty one?” He’s in the middle of making dinner when the door bursts open and he hears the thud of Seb’s backpack before he lets out a grunt as the little boy runs into him.

“Careful bug. What did you do with Daddy Robert?” He was avoiding the puppy conversation, it wasn’t the first time he’d done it, he was becoming quite an expert. 

“He’s talkin’ to someone outside.” Aaron frowned, unable to think of anyone he could be chatting to that wouldn’t come inside. 

“Right. Go take your bag upstairs and wash your hands. I’ll be back in a minute.” He wanders outside, frowning when he sees Robert shaking someone’s hand that he doesn’t know. “Who was that?”

“The officer in charge of Al’s case. Came to give me an update.” His face is giving nothing away at all.

“And?” In the few seconds it takes Robert to give him an answer he’s mentally packing their bags and working out the best place to go. “Robert just tell me.”

“They’ve charged him and he’s been refused bail. He can’t say for sure but he doesn’t expect him to be causing any more problems for anyone. They’ve picked up as many of his people that they can, the rest are hiding. It’s over.”

“They’re sure?” He nods and Aaron doesn’t know what to say, just let’s Robert hold onto him.

“It’s over Aaron. I’m not leaving you ever again.” He nods against his shoulder, can’t make the words come out. “I love you Aaron.”

“Love you too.”

“Daddy! Something smells funny in the kitchen!”

“Shit.” He mumbles, pushing himself away from Robert, feeling him start to laugh. “The lasagne.”

“It’s good to know some things never change at least. Come on, let’s go rescue it.”


End file.
